It is Thursday,and we all know what that means in the new Millennium (saying this reminds me of the Summer of 1999) when we were told the world ends the minute we get into the 2000s…..A decade and half later..here we are….haha!
Yes that is throwback,as in(I hope people still use this statement on these streets ,or it qualifies as a TBT already?)…remembering events of the past…both good and bad in equal measure,in my case that is.
So well,let me quit narrating what you already know,fellow ladies(I do not know why this sounds too official),but anyway ,this is for us.God gave us a uterus,for two reasons,one to ruin our lives through monthly periods and two make us happy when we carry lives inside us and rejoice after 270 days or so when bouncing baby boys/girls ‘touch’ the earth….I am not sure about the bouncing part though coz I am yet to experience that,just clarifying so I am not misquoted!
I am looking back to my teenage years,when I was 15…going to 16,when womanhood set in and that is when mine truly my mom sat down with me and told me “look here darling,you are my little girl,but now,if you ‘play’ with boys,you can be a mother too”. Trust me those were not fun words and the chills I got from that,I cannot explain..like who would want to be a mom at 15 anyway?So I took in her words and never “played with boys”..haha.I could see the worry in her eyes,I was now grown,apparently,I learnt later,that I was late somehow because these “ghosts” mostly come at 12,13,14 yrs there about,but the latest is 17.
It is true,I remember back in primary school when ‘big’ girls would accidentally realize the ‘ghosts’ in the name of monthly p’s have ‘arrived’ and they had a group that we ‘kids’ were not allowed to be part of.Remember those days one would walk with a sweater tied on their waist all day coz they soiled their uniform,yes that is what I am talking about.At times I am totally glad I went through primary school without having to deal with that coz we had cheeky boys who would not give the ‘big’ girls peace by constantly asking questions like why they are not going out to play as usual.
I also did not understand then,but now I do…YOU SEE,these Ps are not just all fun for all of us.They come with the worst thing to ever happen under the sun after Lot’s wife turning into stone(or was it salt,these bible parables can be confusing)..it is called Menstrual cramps!Yeah,my friend,those things are evil.And yes,yours truly has been dealing with that,for the last 9 or maybe 10 yrs now!
As is the norm with humans,we speculate and come up with reasons as to why some things happen,especially health matters and we always have some “cure”…OK..I am not entirely disputing that,but well we are told GMO food could be the reason people in this generation suffer from menstrual cramps.Could be true by the way,but well,not sure I ate junk while in high school,but I still suffered.
It never changed after,it actually got worse,I am one of those people who do not accidentally realize the ‘ghosts’ have arrived,this is where the uterus is said to ruin your life.Happy are those who never experience menstrual cramps,for restful night sleep and walking straight is theirs till eternity at that time of the month!
Most of us find remedy in painkillers,but we are told they cause cancer,they cause infertility,et al.Yes,these days anything can happen,soon we will be told our own saliva is cancerous!And then we resort to herbal medicines which are all over the place these days,then again we are told they will kill us…hehe and we fear death,don’t we?
And then there is another ridiculous myth that intercourse just before the Ps helps one to have painless Ps.I swear hii dunia itatufunza maajabu!
Well and then there is exercising occasionally,this helps BTW.There is also another myth of de-worming,how worms and P’s are connected,I don’t know,but I will find out and share of course!
Experts also say they go away after birth of a child and I have been a lot in the recent past that I should get a baby and cramps will be a #TBT just like that but I know one too many women who have kids but have menstrual cramps still.
So yeah,we are just left to wallow in the misery of painful periods coz the “ghosts” are still punishing the fruits of Adam and Eve since Eve just couldn’t run away from a snake like all women do!
That mamie had guts BTW,like she actually just paused in the Garden and comfortably had a conversation with a snake?It still beats me how she could do that,we would all be peaceful right now and eat pop corn,roll on the couch as we watch Central Intelligence without having to worry that we will stain the seats or soil our clothes!
But life happens and we all grow up!
Be my guest anytime…